Sunday, October 31, 2010

I do Love Sandy after all this time.

Am just no longer going to fall for any women like I have these last two years. On Monday am trying for Sandy. If I can each at her work well I only can pray she isn't involved with another and if she isn't will I be able to reach her heart again. I have done it all now from 18 to 55 and without a doubt she was without equal. She was true to me and always looked at me with eyes glowing with love for me. Maybe am better now as far as a recent divorce. She is great. Lady M was nice but wow she has no room in her world for somebody else or hell maybe its just me she didn't like. Must be a reason she has been single for all the time I was married, but we did have fun times too. We just never really clicked like other couples do. Maybe me maybe her, no doubt both. Yesterday as I was chasing some punk ass on la cienega. I passed the place I met Sandy and I got out of the car and stood there for a few minutes and came home.

When Mom asked me all surprised why would I chase Sandy again? You suffered so much for it when you guys broke up. My answer was that exactly. For the first time since I held my kids as newborns in my arms a thousand years ago . Have I actually felt deep emotions as when I kissed Sandy.

My chances of landing Sandy? lmao man slim and none,but I always try the impossible. See I once landed in her Kingdom its time to ride out to her realm again. Will I win her heart? Nope see a Man only gets a chance at that kind of  dolls heart once and I had my chance and lost her.. What will I do when Sandy tells me to go fly a kite? Hmm well I figured work and save every penny I can this year as I am free from all court appearances and divorce is over and now fully vindicated. I feel all that's left is go back to Italy and find where God left off scolding me and hug desperately, but lovingly that irreplaceable beauty to live with, delightfully and if lucky if so blessed to daily haggle with life's consequences, side by side.
Let Finding Love be the Order of the Day!

Friday, October 29, 2010

When u hit Clint Eastwoodness.

How do you know when you reach the zenith of your manly powers?When you decide to fuck with your enemies minds instead of their spines lmao! Dam man this hot little cashier at pavilions just gave me her number told me about some party tomorrow in BH. Totally was into her till I head her better. A Spanish accent you could saw a oak tree off..in a hurricane with. Hey man some folks have no problem  with accents, but ex wife I was with for decades and I mean Vampire like decades. NO MORE FUCKING ACCENTS EVER!!!.

Today I was talking to my Mom have missed talking with her. Told her I missed Sandy she was like forget about her boy and move on with hotter babes. I had to hold my head while I laughed never heard my Mom say the word 'babes' LOL!

I knew a Girl once....

 
 The only girl I actually danced down the street for. Yea I know weird but wow man what a feeling to feel like that for a sweet girl.
I knew a girl once at least that what mortals would call her. To me she was a goddess. I took her love for granted and lost her. Once we had a argument on phone and I took a drive to her place at 150..miles an hour in a BMW I used to own. Just to crawl next to her in bed and say sorry. How gorgeous was she?. Well when I would look at her dead on face to face and she would talk to me. She would have to cover my eyes so I could focus on what she said. Its been 2 years and a 1000000's of women later. None ever looked like her, none ever whispered or purred  like her when she slept in my arms and more importantly she did love me.  Last honey I was with was a Major motion picture actress and when I dated her I figured she would be the one that would help me forget about Sandy. Not the end of the world will ever make me forget how Sandy looked like the fist day I met her. The look of surprise as we walked away from her car to mine on our first date and I bent down and kissed her on the lips like it was a movie. I have never known a smarter girl than her. Tough as nails and soft as a kitten when she hugged you.

She didn't have a mean body in her body and was a great friend and even greater lover. To Sandy I raise this cup of Coffee to you and thank God for the brief time I spent in your presence and will always bask in your smile OUT on that beach long time ago. I Love you, no I lie.  I ADORE YOU SANDRA. I would slay the Armies of Hell today Sandy if you gave me a chance at your heart again..Please

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Is it her Butt or face o' both?

A friend asked me today if I could go back to her after calling the cops on me and considering she had a hell of a ass. I mean the video kind you see on hip hop all black, bubbly and smooth. I told Denise no way girl. See I was married for a 1000 years sex is only a small part of a relationship. Throw in some kids and sex becomes a thing of the past or rather a ghost of what it once meant. Yet its what we as a couple spend a lot of time tapping into or avoiding it. I love sex its makes my day lmao. I feel like somehow am passing on my genetic code. Even though my gfs can never get pregnant.operations and stuff. The young ones I wear condoms.

So when Manami tried to explain how I looked at women as sex objects I just couldn't understand her and I still don't. I mean i was once married for decades and had kids, belonged to PTA,little leagues and all that stuff. SO ITS NOT LIKE I WAS KNOWN AS A PERV OR SEX ADDICT. i WAS LIKE A TROPHY DAD AND CHIT. yet WHEN I LOOK AT A WOMEN i THINK WOW WHAT COOL TIMES WE COULD HAVE TRAVELING THE WORLD MAKING LOVE IN EVERY CITY ON EARTH. being ROMANTIC AND LOVING to EACH OTHER FOR our OWN SELF WORTH and what we mean to each other. Sorry I peck when i type so i look at keyboard not at screen and well caps key can be a problem lmao.

So yea if your a hot-tie yea baby I can be with you sexually everyday if you like as much as you like. I think I am traumatized from marriage. My ex-wife sucked at her body not to mention I weighed like 320 lbs..I weigh now 170..hehe huge ass difference. The ex-wife tipped scales at a cool 280..yikes. So it was like two rhinos fucking,unpleasant and strenuous as hell not to mention the STANK!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Invite to a Halloween Orgy?look like

This what a invite to a Halloween Orgy looks like. Lol that people actually make an invite. Before I moved in with Lady M. Used to holler to Edgar an' the fo'' would have half a dozen o' so ready for a wet and crazy org at Skinnys in NOHO ready in hour or 2. Step up to the deck bro.

Its not that Women lie,  its that Men believe them! Aww hell man its not that Lady M didn't love me of course she did, she just wasn't as love with me as I was in love with her. I tend to fall for a pretty lady like fast and hard lmao. Last night I was madly sad as I stood in front of pavilions on melrose and vine.  I say a lady pretty, but like hmm 64? started to flirt with me. I was mentally inside thinking, fuck me man, "am I like a poster child for older woman  at this freaking store"? I mean for Christs sake I just turned 49 in June. I never really considered Lady M older than me, as 5 years is nothing I thought. It would be a world of difference. So the "Senior"lady at end of flirt monologue asks if I could keep her company as she shopped.  I was like ok? In the dental hygiene aisle she turned and just fucking kissed me in the mouth, tongue and everything. I pulled her in and pushed her back a little..hehe I always act like when a girl attacks me first, act like I  want more, "but thought better of it". This time when I pushed her back, her eyes looked so sad and glazed to the well worn feeling  of rejection. I pulled her back into me, whispered "mamasita" in her ear, kissed  her long and hard while gabbing her ass with both hands. I finished kissing her after a couple minutes, told her gently as I could that my heart was recently broken and turned and left the store. She followed me out and told me she could take me on a vacation to make me happy. I was like omg not another cruise fiasco.. told her no politely and walked back to apt that am leaving from on Monday.

Later that evening am talking with Manami and wow man how I've missed talking to her. She and I use to host mad cool sex parties at my place. She'll be pissed laterz when she reads this post lmao. She hates when I write about her, but hell man am a blogger its what we sad no lives do man. Yea am like one of those sad fucks you see at starbucks..no girlfriend just tethered to a laptop and a hopeing for a link out that may change my life again.

So Manami sad, as shes going through a breakup too. Figure best time to do a dialogues of self pity and shit lmao. So we did. I did ask her if I was a sex addict she died laughing. Later she was seriously, you ask?

Told her how Lady M used to say all I ever talked about was money and sex. Manami was just busting up. She told me that after she met me.  I used to talk mostly about surfing and bitching about small sets with my Son,but not much about making money. She pleasantly reminded me I was kinda loaded then compared to now. but that later it just came down to convos about defending myself against ex-wife in court, sex acts, clubbing and escaping from life by getting high and orgying out. She knew I was getting mad at all the crap she was saying, as I and bathoom mirrors don't take criticism well, but Manami just busted up more and said, "well another sad ass Thanksgiving Dinner for us again". LOL!!!

A friend asked me today if I could go back to her after calling the cops on me and considering she had a hell of a ass. I mean the video kind you see on hip hop all black, bubbly and smooth. I told Denise no way girl. See I was married for a 1000 yeas sex is only a small pat of a relationship. Yet its what we as a couple spend a lot of time tapping into or avoiding it.









Monday, October 25, 2010

but Dude wtf does it mean

"If  integrity can be whipped to a frothy wisp of honesty than let truth be bankable as a commodity and only profited by gainful rise in its sincerity". Thats all mine..tehhehehe

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Love hurts..just a little...


so Lady M and I.. we didn't take the cruise that Sunday. Its weird man. I always thought that being married to one lady for decades would make it impossible to learn anything new from a new woman. From Sandy I learned to fight for myself using my inner strengths against my ex wife's attempts to stick my ass in prison.

From Lady M I learned so much I'll never even be able to grasp it all. See she left me last Sunday. Christ it was the hardest thing to do was to watch her walk away. Then came the second set of cops to talk to me cause her friend, her meddlesome friend that bitch had busybody had called the cops and said I was" mentally abusing" lady M. The cops asked me for lady M told them to come in and search they were cool but thorough. Told them I was drunk they laughed said it was my house I could do whatever I wanted. They said they had to go,  but explained reason the mental abuse charge was wrong was because the victim would still be at location taking the abuse. The fact that Lady M was not here and that I was drunk in a happy way meant that this was just another instance of life. Walked them to the gate said goodbye. Went back upstairs  Laid down and silently wept at the days events. Now it was a total of 8 cops that Lady M had used in one day to tell me she no longer wanted me there. Just one day before we were to take off on a 5 day Mexican coast cruise, her first.

Almost 2 Months had had passed since Lady M told me during one of my manic job searches as a line cook or asst prep short order cook. That I was better suited as a Financial Adviser/ business manager I was like at the time..yeah right!! Couple months late 2 weeks ago Lady M handed me a check for 18 thousand as a fee for investment counseling services.  Its been now since last Sunday since I saw M she came bye again with 2 more cops to pick up her things and left me the apt..I guess.

So I change my website as Lady M had helped to do and she even made business cards as a Investment counselor. Usually one would wake up from such a dream, but this shit got weird. So I start getting calls from criagslist from guys that read my website and want me to trade foe them. Apparently I do know what I'm babbling about. Today it got serious some dude called wants me to take over his personal account and all accounts he brings his to get 20% off them in 3 months. I mean the guy won't let up. So I must know what the hell I speak of as we spoke for about a couple hours of phone.

I never really felt he was picking  my brain. As there really ain't much to pick there anymore. Its just he was like dueling with me sparing if you will with financial instruments. So after he told me about this deal and well emailed it too. I thought to myself. Hmm I think Ill just ask for a contract to build him a fortune and he can just take over my needs through a commission or salary thing but whatever it takes. I want to get a new place to live ALONE this time and just take off to Rome,Florence Italy plain and simple. I once ruled my little kingdom and was I guess happy in a dutiful husband,and fatherly way to my kids. Now its different. I feel that solitary oneness of the old spice guy and I fucking like it. Yea am asking this dude for some paid time in Rome nothing to lose at this point. I'll need it to be complete again. About 2 months ago I was working in the kitchen of a boardwalk bistro at the beach.

Maybe you can see why I can't bring myself to cash Lady M's check. No other woman with hardly knowing me saw so much in me that she changed my life and my own vision of self worth and in the end I destroyed her love a long time ago,but never listened to her about it. Her check will stay un-cashed and I will never forget her.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

So the Cops burst in

So Six Cops come in on Saturday continued from last blog post. I'm like hell if I had a dime every time I got swarmed... politely as it was, swarmed nevertheless. (All this takes place down on our apartment common area courtyard.)They sweetly asked if I minded being handcuffed while this unpleasantness was sorted out. "I replied am I under arrest?" they shook their heads surprised and said no, but that "they would feel comfortable if I was handcuffed and facing the apt hallway wall". Well maybe I  have no criminal record because I have always respected what these Angels we humans calls cops do everyday so there can be peace on the streets we whine about bout and serenity we take for granted. After all I've been around the world a bit and USA just fucking owns man. Anyways.making more coffee brb in 20 mins its now 11:25pm calif time.

Monday, October 18, 2010

My Story of Love.

We moved in about 6 months ago..am massively drunk now so what. Anyways I was in love when I first saw her. Shes a black chick from Ohio older than me mid 50's and skilled in the art of sex like no other. I was lost in her musk and bedroom ballet ways. Soon I grew to love her for the past she was so enriched with. Movie actress and now through my help an accomplished author. Lol and there's still more, but keep in mind I'm a high school dropout, yet married for 27 b yeas and raised 2 of the best kids known to mankind. Sorry an emotional moment coming on need a swig of rum brb.

So lets fast forward to Saturday morning. I have breakfast with a hot 38 year old at Denny's at sunset and gower been planning it for a week with her. Shes named Bernadette met her on plenty of fish like I met Lady M there. Later Lady M and when I return to her apt we go out for shakes at burger king giggling and tickling each other regarding tomorrows cruise. Get this man I mean get this fucking shit. After picking up pills at wallgeens she ditches me at CVS, I Mean just fucking ditches me at store. I walk outside to parking lot and and the bitch and car are gone.

Am like holy shit did she get kidnapped? so I run back to our place and my keys are on her key chain. So I ring security buzzer Lady M answers and buzzes me in. Upstairs she wont let me in and says through door shes scared of Mexicans, (shes a black chick)  and goes on to say she doesn't want to go on cruise.

I'm like WHAT THE!! then a copter hovers over building and 6 cops walk in pointing guns at me telling me not to move. FUCK. ok will write shit later am beat its late and lady M is coming over to move her crap out, have been dating Bernadette for 1 day now and Manamai just came back into my life, but there's a hottie I just met on plenty of fish.com that I really like. I give up dating any babe over 6 years age than mine. I prefer younger. Its more fun and the girl is happier.

Continued on next post. what a life man thats why I blog. How else could I possibly track all the weird shit I live and survive.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

We canceled cruise.

We canceled cruise. Lady M is still reeling from her job loss and she knows that after a year plus I'm still in love with Sandy. Shit I really tried but I can't stop thinking about and feeling for Sandy.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Well here it is:)

You ever get so well loved that you wake up all like sexually happy? heheh.....<------.

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Sunday, October 3, 2010

Sentence Passed,,,Gulp

As I turned on my PC this morning thought how It felt that for the First time in two years I was no longer in a battle for my life with ex wife. I beat her attempt to imprison me for almost one year. I "gots" more lives than a pussy..huh lol! She did her damdest, even used 2 city attorneys, but if you knew my life and who I'm and always was, you'd  know that I carry the sword of Justice on my side and fear no man-made court or law. Although I think I would have tripped if they had handed down to me a year or more in the LA Prison system,,,whew!

When Public defender said she was putting me on the stand I said babe its about time. So when the Judge read her sentence onto me I was like oh shit here it comes.... I thought about Lady M sitting behind me. We were the only ones in courtroom and my case was the last on Docket as it was has been continued for more than a year now.  Many thoughts flash in a mans head I guess before facing a prison sentence or maybe not, by the way Jail is when you spend a night incarcerated,booking,  but prison is where you go to do time, just that I even know that difference pisses the fuck out of me. In my case millions passed through whats left of my brain after 49 years of breathings Gods air.

The Judge looked at me and spoke, I froze and saw in my my minds eye a scene from some space movie where an Alien in a astronauts body looks at camera and says "some wonderful is about to happen". Keep in mind that am facing a 1-2 year Prison sentence. The Judge pronounced the Judgment and Sentence, "Guilty.. but due to mitigating factors the Court fines the defendant $500.00, case dismissed.". I turned to look at my Public Defender she was giggling, beaming reached and squeezed my hands. I thanked the Honor walked out grabbed lady M's hand. When I grabbed M's hand it was the most intense moment I ever had with a woman. I was now officially leaving a ex wife who wanted me imprisoned and now all could see, was for nothing more than soured vengeance. I fell deeply in love with M as I smiled at her and hand in hand.  We met my Public Defender outside of court, I hugged kissed my PD and she was jumping little "hops" and saying that, "I received wasn't even a slap on the wrist". Again we hugged and I kissed her on the cheeks and thanked her deeply.

Now for the first time in over 2 years am free from seeing or having to deal with my ex wife of 27 years. To any guy going through what I have. Its true that old bullshit you hear from older folks in time of deep and never-ending ordeal. "This too will Pass". I now live with a fine assed black honey, been living with her for 6 months now, I say black cause it does matter, see I'm mex yea, yea born here and chit, but a mex, ex wife is mex too born over there, and Brother you go black you never go back.  That chit is true.. I love her deeply and she loves me. This month we take off on a cruise. So yea this Sunday as write this entry I Thank God and think about my Son and Daughter and cry a little on the inside and wonder with a smile whats next.