Sunday, February 7, 2010

Nothing I can do Dolls

Today a couple of beauties that once battled for my heart called me asking me basically wtf? The thing with me is I can't be a player. If I really love someone with that woman Ill stay true and loving too. The honeys that called me are young and well I know they thought that time is eternal and for their ages 25-35 yes time is long and wonderful. I'm 48 and heading to fifty really fucking fast. When you ask a once a lifetime woman like Lady M that as a couple we need to move in together to take it to the next reality of love level. Well she said yes at first and then next day changed her mind. I was so fucking crushed that night. I mean I drove right to south central and went looking for fuckers to take my rage out on and yea I did, also got really hurt too, but I didn't give a shit.

Two weeks went on after the "No". Then one night I just couldn't take it anymore. I used to have a girlfriend that I loved hard she told me of a saying that went like this,"the pride before the fall". I never understood it even when she explained it. So I picked up the phone and called Lady "M". She didn't answer left her a message to call me back. She didn't. I knew then that no ocean of blood would ever quench  my heart on fire. Told Vincent to take the benz back to give me my old Toyota corrola back.  e said Dude why do you punish yourself over a woman so much.

Lady "M" called me back last week. She was crying saying that she hadnt checked her messages in a week and loved and missed me badly. I would cried to,but I removed my tear ducts last Christmas when after driving M to airport for annual trip to see her parents. I locked myself in her apts after dropping her off lax and man I cried and cried. Didn't stop for a few hours and thats how I said goodbye forever to 30 years of a family life. My brain snapped that night and I became whole again or as complete as a guy like me can finally be.

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