Sunday, February 28, 2010


new day

Saturday, February 27, 2010


as I head out to SF next week. I just wanted you to know Sandy That I fell in love the day I laid eyes on you and I now you know that. Sandy I'm safe to meet, say bye for last time?

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

yea, yea..

Maybe we all have had good days and bad ones to, but we woke up the next day regardless. I used to think life would get easier to understand or maybe even less complicated as you grew older. For me it did not. Will do things this week that will be my crossing of the Rubicon.  If it works cool, if not the blow was nevertheless dealt.

It's been now almost a year and half since I saw a another Nation and felt its history shock the soles of my American wanderlust flat feet. I thirst for the richness of the nose breaking aromas of different people tossed together from all parts of the world at a crucial train route. All of us anxious but so deliriously happy that at least our day  its a Euro problem . Basically am just hunting for a job just to get back to Italy and figure out how to stay there.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Ain't leaving for SF

 When you used to weigh 300 plus pounds,who knew if you lost half your weight you could get Dennis Quiads Smile lines, dimples whatever lmao am tripping I have them now. ROFL my Daughter used to call me the Mexican Jaba the Hut . I love being fit now, its freaking fun to walk,workout and try on great clothes :)

Yea ain't going to SF after all just don't trust the dude. Don't care if we getting a house or not. I just don't feel that at this point in my life I need to live my life like I'm 24 or something. The roomiee and uncountable women concept sounds fine and all that, but I can do that now as it is. I like LA its easy to get work here and hell man Rome is just a mere 13 hours to fly to. Its been a fun and crazy journey to be here. Am pouring my fine self into my Benz and heading to OSK store for some nuts then onto bunch of job interviews. Ford called me they said they would pay all my expenses to a salesman there. Am flattered, but I would prefer to be in a kitchen or food job. I don't want a career, just bucks so I can study Law and pass bar. Am totally cool with how my body stripped out and now am doing the same to my mind. I truly wonder what life holds in store not only for me but more importantly for you.

You want to know how to lose over 100lbs, stop smoking cigs after a lifetime of doing it? and give up soda pop by the litters?In less that a year? Went from a waist 48 to a size 28  in ONE YEAR and 3 months, then call me. The bucks I charge you will be nothing compared to who'll you be by time I'm done with you.  This is not some stupid diet scam or hypnotize crap. Ill show you how easy it is to give up cravings for food, hard liquor,cigarettes,drugs and anything else you want to give up FOR LIFE. Sorry but I'm keeping the making love as much as I can time. THAT'S MY THANG AND I FUCKING LOVE IT LMAO. Stop being a lardass, CIG smoker,druggie or drinker. call me and change your life bitch. 323-540-2803 ask for me:

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Monday, February 8, 2010

Ain't a Man-Whore..K!

As I embark on a new life. I trip heavily as I drive my benz through Sunset and Vine.  Its not the status of the car or the luxury of its interior or even how heavy and solid it feels. It's that I wanted it and I got it. Read a tweet from girl that only she would ever had told me that. She called me a man whore. Thing is she can never fully understand that term as one she is not a man or a whore. Every wonderful woman that said yes to us sharing a intimate magical moment. I do not consider that sweet lady anything but a delicious magical goddess that said yes one night to a lonely mortal. So I am not a fucking Man Whore k. Maybe am a little more sexually active than perhaps another man my age. Hmm well I was married for 27 years, throw in a 24 hour basis since we were 19 years old and yea is mad groovy now man.

A few women seem to think we want sex cause we "NEED to FUCK" lol not really ladies. Its deeper for us than you possibly could ever imagine. We know that's its our desire for you that  ties Mankind fate to our Dicks. How easy it would be for me and every other average dude to live if all it meant as a man and a woman that our "moment when we invited each other to join as one. Was nothing more than just a FUCK.
Some people you can fuck with others you can't. I'm the can't. I tend to fall in love.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Nothing I can do Dolls

Today a couple of beauties that once battled for my heart called me asking me basically wtf? The thing with me is I can't be a player. If I really love someone with that woman Ill stay true and loving too. The honeys that called me are young and well I know they thought that time is eternal and for their ages 25-35 yes time is long and wonderful. I'm 48 and heading to fifty really fucking fast. When you ask a once a lifetime woman like Lady M that as a couple we need to move in together to take it to the next reality of love level. Well she said yes at first and then next day changed her mind. I was so fucking crushed that night. I mean I drove right to south central and went looking for fuckers to take my rage out on and yea I did, also got really hurt too, but I didn't give a shit.

Two weeks went on after the "No". Then one night I just couldn't take it anymore. I used to have a girlfriend that I loved hard she told me of a saying that went like this,"the pride before the fall". I never understood it even when she explained it. So I picked up the phone and called Lady "M". She didn't answer left her a message to call me back. She didn't. I knew then that no ocean of blood would ever quench  my heart on fire. Told Vincent to take the benz back to give me my old Toyota corrola back.  e said Dude why do you punish yourself over a woman so much.

Lady "M" called me back last week. She was crying saying that she hadnt checked her messages in a week and loved and missed me badly. I would cried to,but I removed my tear ducts last Christmas when after driving M to airport for annual trip to see her parents. I locked myself in her apts after dropping her off lax and man I cried and cried. Didn't stop for a few hours and thats how I said goodbye forever to 30 years of a family life. My brain snapped that night and I became whole again or as complete as a guy like me can finally be.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Shes like a Movie Star.

Am old school and well a movie star to means something totally different in way than today's version of one. Maybe its cause I was younger and the movie business was evolving into something bigger than us all. When I wake on average 6-30 am I'll lay on my side and look at my girl sleep. She wears a eye mask and earplugs. Why do I mention that? Its the second time I know a woman that does the same thing. The thing is she has a Masters from Cornell in the Arts if I remember. I've seen her tapes of plays in New York and she writes books.Shes never been married or had kids. She lived once with a lucky guy for only a couple years, but the idiot lost her. When I see guys just openly stare at her I so fucking love it. When we lie together on our side, so close you be hard pressed to slip a sheet of paper between us. Her eyes so twinkle when she looks at me. Last night I blocked forever every girls number I ever knew. This Lady is the One.

Its been one hell of journey to get here man. I can't even remember the hearts and men I've hurt cause I was insane with grief and pain. I've been wounded many times as well. I was leaving the country in a few months for good. Untill she held my heart in her hands and well I was lost forever. Right now as I blog she talks to her siblings and she looks like a girl right out of Archie comic books, with her long legs crossed over the one she looks like a teenager. Funny thing we just had some madly wondrous love making and wow bro just Bro!! Like this afternoon she told me as she lay in my arms that "she never had been loved so completely". You can imagine how I tripped inside my broken brain.

What women will never understand and yes some do get it.but guys like me well we need a woman, the right one. One that verifies and vindicates our manly way. Its only a small thing after all men like me that raise kids and stayed married for epoch well we are the kind most men try to aspire to. Now many friends hold me again as a bastion of will power and self improvement. The secret of getting a woman like Lady "M", the true magic that it takes to cast every addiction you ever were under its influence. Its so fucking simple so easy to do and that's why every one that can't hear me will fail. Look at me fucker when I talk to you for I see the demons that hold your soul in its vise like stranglehold. I mean after you read this post go look at yourself in the mirror. When you do you, no doubt you will turn away as you will only see the ugly of your face and life force. Now hang there for exactly 5 minutes.

When you hit the Magic 5 tell yourself loud and clear and I mean just fucking yell it asshole, who gives a shit who hears you. YELL IT!!!!!!! Say this "I love you" as you look at yourself in the mirror. When you say it enough that you cry and see yourself for what a good person really are and the better person you will spend the rest of your life being. Then my virtual blogging, twittering, facebook, bitch, only then my dear friend only right then and there can you really give up every addiction easily, forever and never again have a craving for them.

I used to weigh 300lbs A YEAR AND A HALF A GO. I now weigh 148. I have abs on my tummy and 4 days ago a girl honked her horn and waved at me on Vine ave in Hollywood. I life weights daily and walk 2-3 miles a day. I gave up smoking a pack of cigarettes for over 30 years a year and half ago. I don't drink a liter of soda a day like I did for decades. I stopped drinking hard liquor a while ago and never so much as gave it a second thought. It took me filing a divorce the ripping of my past memories of my kids and family life. Took that and year and half of no TV,movies,radio,news complete shutting down of all information and distraction to survive. There where times last year, I would have thrown myself off any bridge, only problem is I don't die.

Now after knowing a literal Goddess for only three (3) months the Angel I described so poorly above. After all forgive me, for what mortal can express any hobbled language to explain what he has just encountered. We moved in together and wow I now hear music where there was none. I can see fuzzy blue light where only purple bitterness floated. I am nice to all. I hold none responsible for my mistakes and I  thank God for any humble victories. I look at the past and know that I was there when my kids needed me the most. Today I stand the strongest, cleanest in soul and mind of my kind. I have a love that I never knew could even exist.
 See the love of my life doesn't know that there's a certain spot in our apt that I can sit there with my legs crossed listen to my mp3 player and smile as she talks with her family on phone. She doesn't look a day over 19. I love you Lady M

Friday, February 5, 2010

2010 Looks Great!

Got the title to my first benz in mail today. 2010 begins with me living with a one of a kind woman,  and a Benz?. Looks like a good year.. cross fingers

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Lost TV Show

She is the most loving woman I've ever known. I get so turned on when I see her walk by. If it wasn't for my kids I would have wasted my life being married to the wrong woman. I would sell my soul for this lady. She is complicated but her feelings of love and friendship are so insanely simple to understand. She doesn't lie!!!!!!!!
Last night I watched the new Lost episode. Frankly the show reminds me of Gilligan's island and well if wasn't for my Queen I wouldn't even look at it twice. Its my Lady s favorite show so I respect its writing and its actually well developed storyline. I'm just not mentally in the right place to see it, but my girl lol man her eyes light up and really enjoys the show. So to all the sponsors of the show Lost I proudly state that any show that makes the love of life smile and have so much fun with it and keep in mind people shes probably one of the most brilliant women alive. Well sponsors of Lost I will buy anything you folks are selling. :)

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

I moved in..

Am tripping peeps. Haven't l lived with a Woman since my divorce. Was married for 27 years to just one lady. Mad trips when I wake up to the most hottest, gorgeous woman ever born. I dig her hard time. Never met a babe like her befoe. She laughs and makes me roll over with stuff she says. She really loves me and I can't tell you what that means to me every moment of the day. Some dudes can be alone and actully like it. I'm the can't I need a woman, but just not any kind of a woman. She has to be the prettiest and smartest one ever born. She means everything to me for now and a long time to come.