Friday, January 8, 2010

Wow it hurts.

Today I got some mail at my apt it was from Lady "M" she had mailed me back an apron and apt key. I opened the package praying to find some shred of something that I could work with and give my pride some reason, any reason to hide once more. Nay it was a request to let her know why her glove box was jammed. It wasn't.  I left her a voice mail simply saying, I had locked it to prevent any entry into it.  Felt her glove-box contents was safer that way. I broke it off with Jenny last-night. The reason was simple enough. Like I told Jenny, since I couldn't have Lady "M" . I just didn't feel like being with anybody for awhile. Jenny had a nuclear cow to put it lightly lol. Never heard a young Lady cuss so many new words, some in Japanese. She demanded to know why I had fallen in love with M, what was the fucking reason as she put it.

The reason was easy, M is the nicest human being i've ever known. I think I did a huge favor for her by leaving her and she may never know it. See I truly loved her like no other women before her or I doubt after. I choke up just thinking of her in her apt on her PC, without me by her side tripping over her dsl line on floor. When she would kiss me back fuck me man if I didn't think I had died and gone to heaven. That Beauty WAS THE MOST magical women that God ever made.  Today Vince brought bye a sony vario laptop told me to use it until I get a desktop again.

Its cool to have friends like Vince that help out when your in a small jam. That guy and I had a hot 200mph benz just a month or so ago and wow we hit the cruise blvds  and had a killer time on freeway
. I hit 160 and felt a tinge of fear and slowed down lmao Vincent was snoring away. He has a 5 year old son who runs him ragged I guess lol. The little man-cub is named Omar and he really is a little angel. Reminds me of my boy. I really began to admire and respect Vincent when I met his girlfriend. She already me knew me from Malibu surfer point,off to right of pier.

I had seen her surf and shes seen me, diffrence is shes dam good and smiles alot when she hits a crest. I on the other hand have become an expert at digging sand and rocks out of my ass.  Always figured she was hondojonesy's woman, one of lifeguards there. Didn't know she belonged to Vincent, until I met them for Lunch. I was floored. I literally told her Babe how the hell could you love this dude? She hugged him and said, "she didn't know, but was wild about him". Vince looked at me and said,"fix yourself bro and you can have one just like her too". Yea if it only was that easy huh. I am heartbroken over M like BIGTIME, yet its a weird heartbreak. Today as I read her letter in package. I thought back to movies when they show a Vampire feeling pain as he gets stabbed or shot and yet smiles grimly and heals himself and does his or her or I guess "its" thing.

I felt the same today. I felt a huge sense of loss over M, but I smiled as I lifted weights and felt feelings and thoughts that just a while ago were alien to me.

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