Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Where I am now.

Love or the lack of it is terrifying and horribly scary. I can't even imagine a life without a special woman by my side. Vince a good friend of mine says woman are born to be ruled over. Lol man on this hes kinda right and very much wrong. Others say bah on women uniqueness and use them for other things than true friendship. Me? I Enjoy sex maybe more than the next guy, but then again I was married for 27 years on a 24 hour train-wreck of a schedule. So yea its like I'm having sex for the first time.... lmao man.

I broke it off with Lady M and yea it hurts, but even though I loved her probably more than any other girl. I just don't feel like jumping on the downtrodden train and heading off to self pity mountain anymore.I walked away from a bad marriage full of holes and bleeding a loveless liquid when once it gushed a red more scarlet than the Suns heart.

I don't say this as a remembrance of "her" (the ex wife) but at wonder of the love and devotion that I 'm capable of. To me being in love is how I thrive and deal with life.  Its like you send a vibe when your single and free. Today Jenny called me out of the blue and kinda laughed at my current love trouble with lady M, she said I should forget this finding love crap and just live it like a cool MOF that I portend to be.

Shes right I guess, my plans to head off to Spain this march are still on track. I hit 154lbs today had been 150 in October, but thanksgiving struck and I was Busy with Lady M and Jenny eating it up, gained 4-8 lbs and didn't work out until today. Will I survive the bullfight? lmao I doubt it, but to be without my kids well why the fuck care about it anymore.

After a bus hitting me and dragging me for a block or two about 6 years now, in London Piccadilly square.. If the Bus couldn't kill me why would a cheap assed Bull do better. Last year before I left my house and family and filed for divorce. I showed my Son the first terminator movie and he stayed quiet when the truck in movie runs over the terminator, He looked at me and said, "dad it looked worse in London, cause it was you under that bus Dad". We both  hugged and cried a little. See he was down the block looking at his old man walked down to subway shop to get a sandwich and he saw the whole thing. This is so fucking painful to retell. Imagine what my Son must of thought as he saw me go under the tour bus and get pulled out from underneath that fucking bus.

Dear Readers, When I got pulled out I came out smiling with nothing more than scraped knees and some scratches on palms, lol yea some 2 degree burns on face from under bus engine I guess. Remember yelling at my Son on curb not to cry, cause we Americans don't die so easily. He stopped crying and walked over and sat next to me, we high fived  and, hugged as they slapped my ass to a stretcher and sped me off to St Johns. Lol what a mother fucker I am lmao. Nothing really kills me. As a kid I was hit a by a hit and run driver over 40 mph thrown to other side of street, got up and walked away. As a Teenager I fell off the Malibu dam. As an adult have survived a six car pile up, being caught in a office fire, walked out with ex wife literally through flames others died. About 3 other car accidents all of them always the other dumb bastards fault. Couple gunshots and a few stabbings. The Tour bus thingy and so far that's it..laff..night aint over yet. Seriously "Thank you God for whatever Purpose I serve Thee I do it so happily and gratefully". I love you Robby your my life and if you read this than most likely the fucking Bull got me and I died and well kid never feel guilty.  You are the Best Son a man could ever dream of.Its ok boy you know me maybe am still alive and you finally got hold of my twitter lmao and have been reading my posts all this time lmao man.

Well even though Lady "M" Said yes to living together I could tell she wasn't into it as the look of fear spread across her face as each hour passed lol. So I did what I am becoming good at. I just looked at and kissed her goodbye and bounced back to my Apt.I now walk away from impossible or rather situations that require too much work for the return on such investing of oneself.

Shes really without a doubt probably one of the most wondrous women I've ever met and I would have married her in a nano second if she had let me. Who knows maybe she knew better. She says I write in a non sequential way lol aint first time I've been told that. Hell man who said I could write I sure as hell didn't hell I didn't even graduate high school, but I've been of service to the most brilliant legal minds of our time lol that and a beer bottle gets ya the grand prize huh? lmao man.

Well here we go again back on the quest for the best women I can find :) Sometimes I feel like Bill Bixby the actor who played the Hulk on tv show years ago. When the show would end it would show the Hulk as a normal man (Bill Bixby)just walking away on a lonely road. As I write this I can't help remembering a waitress I knew years ago at one my parents restaurants. She would dance with a beer bottle on her head. Thats how Jenny learned cause I told her about Rosa. I know chicks don't get why a young lady with a mini skirt balancing a full beer bottle on her wouldn't be sexy? Well apparently its a GUY THANG!!!!!!! LMAO!!

All the time I was seeing Lady M, well Jenny wouldn't let me go. She knew about M and yet she kept at me. When I wasn't with M, I was with Jenny. Now as I move out next week Jenny's says she'll move in with me after I get my place.Well to tell truth I really dont want to have a girlfriend move in with me anymore HEHEH ESPECIALLY A 25 YEAR OLD. Am super proud when we go out though, after
all am an oldie at 48 years old. Lmao I dig the looks I get from other guys my age rofl. Most of them smile and wink at me. Yet Jenny's an American as much Japanese that she may be it still is dating an American chick.

To tell ya the truth I've had it up to here with all this bullshit women spew regarding their equality and that crap. YOU ARE NOT FUCKING EQUAL TO MEN! Get that through your pretty heads. Cause if you were every firefighter, every solider every cop, every human  being charged with saving another humans life.  If WOMEN were equal than every occupation above would be filled by a woman and not 99% Men. Silly Women we gave you all the power over Mankind and you fight us over a "LABEL"? You have more power than any Man ever born, even Jesus Christ was born from a  WOMAN.  SO IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE EQUALITY OF MEN AND WOMEN THEN DOLL RAISE US DIFFERENTLY from birth

I make no excuses or apologies for who I am or How I turned out. Yea, I'm an asshole no surprise or shock k.My way protected my family and in the end it served me well and left them prosperous.  Thought about long and hard.  I really don't see why I should lock myself into a one on one relationship. Way I see it during my worst financial times Ive underwent last year 2009. I was lucky enough that I had women driving to my humble apt for fun and well intended affection. It was like I was cursed or hell maybe it was me but no matter what I did I couldn't fucking make any money. There would be times that I would do 14 hour days and I kid your ass not the money would be sucked away instantly by the most insane or non essential reason. I was like WTF!!!!!!!

I look forward to Europe Lady "M" was my last try at a fellow Americans Heart.  Now I go Euro Hotties for a bit. Been practicing my Italian off and on using that Rosetta stone method.  Think am ready to score the most impossible but dreamiest of all women. The Eternal Italian Woman.No other place on Earth and I've been around, no other place known to man.  Do men in groups actually stop what their doing in mid track and freeze just freeze. Why?  To just stare at a gorgeous Italian woman dressed like a goddess strolling down from the Vatican.

About 2 years ago. I along with every other guy, stopped and just stared at this beauty wow. Everything matched on her from the binding of her heels to her earrings. I can't recall what I had for lunch on Monday, but I remember her and way she moved,like it was 5 minutes ago.

Now that I regain my footing, emotionally and finally financially I can only wonder how rocking fun its gonna be to score Honeys all over the world now. I leave in March to Spain then hopefully to Rome.
Life will never be the same.

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