Thursday, January 28, 2010

Fuzzy Feelings

Easy to trip when thinking about past relationships. You get those fuzzy feelings, but then you get all steel hearted.Yet its been a blast to spin in a world with gorgeous women. I now look inward and see holes where a life and purpose used to reside. Every step I take forward reminds me of the past, but every breath I exhale warns me of a future alone. I seek the path to knowing the present and owning it. I used to dread loneliness. I never knew what it felt like until this past year. Today a close friend told me that I was there when my kids needed me the most and now that they had grown, was it really that bad not be needed? She was right. I did my duty and though you are a daddy until you die. its time I let them grow up and make my own moves onward.

Today My Aunt lent me a couple grand and I bought a ticket to Italy for a couple weeks at end of March. Am so fucking looking forward to this trip. First time I travel as a non smoker. You do not know Hell until you fly a 13 hour trip from LAX to Rome without a cig!! Now I go as a man that has destroyed his addictions and conquered new secret places in my mind. What Ive learned as a sexually interactive Man (means horny) is women will always be there and basically everywhere. Am going to club in Rome, already got some lined up. Got hotel already. Had a ball doing this big-time. I can't believe I let my ex wife do all this planning, this is freaking fun.  Btw one word k...priceline. Yea a stupid ass like me can never get it just right huh. So I give up everything bad for me right? Yet now I can't even imagine not working from 8am-9pm. I mean operating a restaurant by myself.  Lamo never worked this hard before in my life. But I fucking love it!!! ROFL!!

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