Monday, November 9, 2009

48 and growing.

Jenny still won't let go, but Lady M got the point fast. Do not lie to a MOF like me as I no longer give a shit about a woman's " dating face feelings", so I can see that lie instantly now. Like song says "when the roof caved in and the truth came out". Today I had a ball at beach. Was there for only couple hours or so, but so many ideas came and went and pains melted into the Pacific. Met a pretty woman at beach, but I made it a point not to introduce myself or even ask her name, yet we talked for an hour. She too just got a divorce after 12 years marriage. Her EX husband is a former CHP officer and shes a nurse. Reason I mention her is she said that it seemed to her I got the restraining order against my ex wife not to keep her away, but to let my kids know that this wasn't a one sided divorce fight and that I too had things to prove. I remember kissing her on the cheek for saying that.

For the first time a another person had finally understood what I had achieved. We said bye and I walked I guess maybe a couple miles and later pretended my 98 Toyota was a 700 series BMW as I took Sunset blvd curves in the hills at 55 an hour. I know now I can have women whenever I want, yea no biggie to a normal man, but I was married for 27 years. That's like being emotionally neutered as a man on the prowl. In other words I ain't a normal "single" man. So its been a uphill learning experience for me and yea have made big and small mistakes, fell in love sometimes to fast,usually with the wrong girls and mostly cause I was wrong for them to begin with.

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