Saturday, May 9, 2009

Long way overdue

Last night was a mind blower. What was done was long way overdue and was righteous in everyway. As I did my rounds, for now this town becomes mine and falls under my care. Later when I move to Italy things will change. I thought about "T" Girl a lot and how I messed up between us, yea am sure I could find things to lay at her dainty feet, but not only would it be minimal it would be stupid to even try to blame anybody else but me. I guess all these years married to my Ex wife, I was so sure I was in love with my Ex but apparently not man. From the minute I walked out of my house to the moment the entry for judgment of dissolution was filed, I have not felt even close to the incredible loss I feel for "T" Girl. Its not like I'm hot looking or all super stared out, but I'm the real fucking thing and that shit counts allot to the right Dames.

shes massively beautiful, the kind of beauty that makes a Noble, but naive knight like myself lose all his self composure and dignity, lmao man how did I get here. Well dear reader watch me crawl out of these depths and take note sir or madam that Man especially this man never gives up or surrenders. This time my worst enemy was myself and last night I defeated me lol. Last night I unfurled my leathery cracked wings and fought again in His name. After that, touched base at the club and danced in a corner of packed dance floor by myself. Sometimes I would dance with a young babe, but mostly I just wanted to be alone and just dance the pain away. Only Person alive that has ever seen me dance the pain is "T" Girl. LMAO I must look dumb doing it, but that's how I handle emotional pain man lmao.

Today I woke with purpose and a decent and loving heart. I wrote her a goodbye email switched my cell to another provider closed off my email and let her go. Not to do so would have been cruel for I have injured her most sweet and delicate heart, and it stops Now!

Into the distance, a ribbon of black
Stretched to the point of no turning back
A flight of fancy
on a windswept field
Standing alone my senses reeled
A fatal attraction holding me fast, how
Can I escape this irresistible grasp?

Cant keep my eyes from the circling skies
Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit, i

Ice is forming on the tips of my wings
Unheeded warnings, I thought I thought of everything
No navigator to guide my way home
Unladened, empty and turned to stone

A soul in tension thats learning to fly
Condition grounded but determined to try
Cant keep my eyes from the circling skies
Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit, i

Friction lock - set.
Mixture - rich
Propellers - fully forward
Flaps - set - 10 degrees
Engine gauges and suction - check

Mixture set to maximum percent - recheck
Flight instruments...
Altimeters - check both
(garbled word) - on
Navigation lights - on
Strobes - on
(to tower): confirm 3-8-echo ready for departure
(tower): hello again, this is now 129.4
(to tower): 129.4. its to go.
(tower): you may commence your takeoff, winds over 10 knots.
(to tower): 3-8-echo
Easy on the brakes. take it easy. its gonna roll this time.
Just hand the power gradually, and it...

Above the planet on a wing and a prayer,
My grubby halo, a vapour trail in the empty air,
Across the clouds I see my shadow fly
Out of the corner of my watering eye
A dream unthreatened by the morning light
Could blow this soul right through the roof of the night

Theres no sensation to compare with this
Suspended animation, a state of bliss
Cant keep my eyes from the circling skies
Tongue-tied and twisted just an earth-bound misfit,

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